Thu, Sep. 21st, 2006, 11:20 pm
Sat, Jun. 3rd, 2006, 10:40 am
I have returned from my trip to New York. After being detained in Canada due to what they called "illegal hazardous materials" (my boobarms), I felt compelled to go somewhere where I would blend in. So I headed to New York City, home of many famous...alternate members of society, such as the Ninja Turtles, Gargoyles, and King Kong. I figured if they can blend in, then so can I. With trenchcoat and hat in tow, I proceeded to explore the city. I saw a great many things, such as a postcard of my good friend MOTHRA in a museum (you're famous MOTHRA!), the shooting of Spiderman 3 (where they thought at first I was the deformed toxic waste victim due to my boobarms), and Ellis Island. It was a good time, although everybody seemed to be giving me odd looks in New York. I guess they're not as accepting of foreigners as they claim. Why can't I find somewhere that people don't give me funny looks for my boobarms?
Sat, Mar. 11th, 2006, 02:00 pm
So I saw a high template magistrate about my boobarms today. I was hoping that her black and white magic could be used to cleanse and purify my arms of the boobs. Unfortunately her control of the space time continuum does not seem to apply to boob arms. I think that she's actually a quack. If Steven were here he'd snap her neck. I wish Steven were here.
Here's her ad, I swear it sounded real:
Madam Graztki, the founder and magical director of GAT, the extremely popular African Center of occult sciences in Europe, has opened a satellite of her Center in Texas.
Madam Graztki has the rank of Magistrate of the Highest Magic. She received her initiation in Ancient Hellas. She possesses the secrets of love from the priestesses of Ancient Greece. She also has a secular degree of Master of Psychology which she received from Moscow University.
Her endless abilities base themselves on her own powerful aura and wide knowledge of black and white magic.
She works in the astral field by controlling space and time. Many of her clients living thousands of kilometers away from her Center receive help remotely through her control of the physical realm. Madam Graztki is a regular consultant to the Grecian Olympic team.
Thousands of saved lives, thousands of destinies cleansed from pollution, myriads of successful businesses – these are the reasons for the endless stream of gratitude sent to the Center and personally to Madam Graztki.
Madam Graztki does not need introduction. Her introduction is the many successes of her labors.
Are you unwell? Do you have problems? Call immediately! Call right now!
Thu, Mar. 2nd, 2006, 10:35 pm
Today I learned about a great man. A wonderful man. A man I hope to grow up to should my boobarms ever fall off. Currently I am drinking his juice, 3 cans a day. He is a true Renaissance man. An inventor, a creator, a martial artist, and a musician all in one. His hits include "Girl it's alright" and "Don't you cry". He also is a botanist, finding several herbs that nobody knew existed.
Here he is:
(He's the one on the left.)
As you can see, he transcends racial barriers. I leave you with three links of my idol:His juice!Him out to kill!Him under seige!
Wed, Mar. 1st, 2006, 09:57 am
Fri, Feb. 24th, 2006, 10:44 am
Recently I have realized that my favorite activity by far is to watch basketball. Just think of how many nipples there are on the court at one time! That number almost rivals the amount there are on me.
Why just basketball you ask? Why not a sport with even more players? Well there are really two answers. One it is really a matter of "more bang for my buck" so to speak in that there are far more players per element of area on a basketball court then say football. Also, the basketball nipples just seem so much more accessible!
I love basketball!
Mon, Dec. 5th, 2005, 03:59 pm
I have not written in a while. I know.
But you must understand, the cold has been very hard on me. Recently I have been perky all over... and I do not mean happy. How embarrassing! Alas.
Soon Mothra will be coming to visit me. Once again Burt cannot come as I am sure he is just too horrified by my appearance. If only either one of them could understand my pain!
I have tried making a snowman using myself as reference. It has to be taken down as the neighbors complained about indecent exposure, or children or something. Alas!
Well that is all to report here. Everyone must go see Get Rich or Die Tryin'. The story is endearing and touching and makes me laugh and weep at the same time every time I think about it. Darth, I think you might like Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story, and Mothra, be sure to take Burt to Just Friends. I think the themes in that will touch you two on as many, although perhaps different levels as they touched me.
Tue, Sep. 20th, 2005, 10:29 am
I have been thinking lately. I am not getting any younger. In fact I am getting far in years, being at the ripe old age of twenty two. However, I seem to have no prospect for the future. No prospects to carry on my genes (hm, or is that a good thing?). I have no girlfriend, not even a friend who is a girl. I think they are all repelled by the fact that I have more nipples than any one of them - and that's just on my arms!
Where will I ever find a wife!?
Mon, Sep. 12th, 2005, 02:47 pm
As you all know, I am a fool for love. So here it is - what my boobs say to others.
Tue, Sep. 6th, 2005, 11:40 pm
The most wonderful thing happened to me today! I got a message from a woman of my dreams. One who understands me. One who is willing to give the fun of minigolf for kicking trash cans! Just to compensate for my... disability.
I am in love. I could sing.
The only problem is that she says she is a boy! But I have seen her picture! She is no boy! SHe is beautiful! For her I would find the biggest can in the world and kick it to the moon!
But wait! What if she rejects me!? What if once she sees me she thinks I am too hideous! What if I want her to be a man for then she will want me for my many boobs!
Oh sadness... eternal sadness.